


Expression: Silent Night

by Nachtnebel



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Accept our love Vanitas, Awkward Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts), But It's Going To Be Fine, Christmas Fluff, Except this is not a Charles Dickens setting, Gen, Spin Off, There is no escaping from Christmas, Tsundere Vanitas just wants peace and I give him an existencial crisis instead, Vanitas Is Bad at Feelings (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas Redemption (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas aka Ebenezer Scrooge, Vanitas-centric (Kingdom Hearts), Wholesome family metaphors, although that might've been awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28134690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nachtnebel/pseuds/Nachtnebel
Summary: For a being of darkness that is drawn to negative emotions, Christmas is the worst. Vanitas can't understand why everyone makes such a big fuss about it. What is this holiday even about? And why is that term 'family' such a big deal now? A lot of doubts are on his mind.Vanitas is convinced he needs to maintain his distance from everyone and this season in order not to become soft. Because there is NO way he cares about any of them. Surely it's all just Sora's connection to his friends. Influencing him. Making him weak. All empathetic and shit.He tried very hard to escape all this madness and the stupid cold weather the whole month, managing to survive until Christmas Eve. So, while the others have the time of their life beneath him, he spends the night brooding on the roof of the mansion, not knowing that this is about to change very soon ...- A short Spin Off about my ongoing story "Expression"
Relationships: Lost Trio - Relationship, Naminé & Riku Replica & Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas & Stitch
Comments: 27
Kudos: 30





	1. Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Here it finally is, my short christmas special of Expression!  
> And to sweeten up the remaining time until the 24th, there's gonna be a chapter every day, making it seven with around 1.000 words each~
> 
> I hope you enjoy my little present(s) ^-^  
> And no, knowledge of the original fanfiction is not necessary.  
> Sure, there are some insiders, but the main focus is wholesome family and ... Ohana stuff ;3  
> I was actually inspired by a lot of things to do this, but this is the result. 
> 
> Have fun!

“Come on, it’ll be funny!“ They said.

“There’s nothing better than celebrating and enjoy the food together!” They said.

“It’s our first Christmas! We’ll be like a weird and wholesome family, watching movies and exchanging presents!” They said.

Vanitas huffed, is nose crunching in disgust while he hugged himself to shield as much of his body from the cold as possible. How could they enjoy this stupid weather? And what was so cool about this Christmas-thing anyway?

Being fed up with all that energy radiating through the house – as if their visitors from Twilight Town weren’t noisy enough – he had retreated to the roof of the mansion. He couldn’t stand it anymore. All this noise, the music, the cheerful faces … And this fucking cold weather! As if it would be any better if a bunch of frozen water rained down too. Thus far, there hadn’t been much of it, melting with the first sunrays every day. But it was so fucking annoying!

For someone who was feeding off negative emotions, living in a world with barely any of it or other sources of darkness _(aside from nightmares, but that wasn’t his department)_ , this Christmas-thing couldn’t be any more frustrating. The only one suffering from negative emotions now was him. Which wasn’t unusual, but the raging beast inside his body wanted to punch each smile out of its face that crossed his path. He avoided going into town on a regular basis. Vanitas mostly went out at night or sunset, when less people were around. That was much better, but still not good enough to survive this cursed and forsaken jolly -holly-fucking-whatever.

Also, his own creation was a damn traitor. That stupid Unversed-Cat preferred to stay in the warm mansion in front of the fireplace in the living room and being an attention-seeking bitch. The girls were always head over heels for him and the ghost feeling when they pet its body, this ticklish feeling that triggered shivers, made him insane.  
He considered smacking his head against a wall to cover it up, but Naminé said no and for some stupid reason he actually didn’t do the exactly opposite of it. Maybe because it would not piss her off, like it would be the case with Liku. He liked provoking that idiot and the others. However, Naminé always had this look on her face like a kicked puppy. And seeing how it actually made her sad when he was upset or anything, was so … ugh, he just hated it.

Maybe it was because of his resemblance to Sora, but he didn’t like cold weather. He wasn’t much of a sunny day person anyway. In conclusion, Vanitas was never happy or satisfied with anything. Except when he could listen to music with his very own and definitely stolen _(not gifted)_ Gummyphone or making fun of other people’s failures. He even caught himself doing this humming thing sometimes. And even without listening to music, occasionally there still was the melody stuck in his brain. Some were good and distracting from the everlasting self-awareness of incompletion and some were just stupid earworms _(which are not parasites invading his brain, he learned)_.

Thinking of phones, that dumb thing notified him that his disappearance was already discovered.

Vanitas glared at the display and didn’t care about even opening the message. He was free to go wherever he wanted. What was it with them and their “Oh, we’re just worried about you and want to know that you’re okay. So please text us when you leave for a longer time”?  
He didn’t buy it one bit … at least that’s what he told himself, but he still couldn’t ignore this warmth that caused him goosebumps for a short moment until he remembered that he was actually an asshole and above their stupid friendly attitude.

Vanitas could and **would** go wherever he wanted and when he wanted. He made that clear when he decided to stay here. This was just a place to stash his stuff and fill up on potions or take a nap for ten hours straight. And then he would leave and … do other stuff. Sometimes he went with Liku to the Realm of Darkness or visited other worlds. Just like he was gone for a few hours or for several days sometimes. And no one could take away that freedom of his.  
Since he didn’t care about being a Guardian of Light, he used his dark powers to his ‘hearts content’ and mostly spent his time training and … travelling. Something inside his chest just urged him. He was never content with anything to begin with, but there was a desire to just do or have… – he had no idea what. But it left him with the feeling of incompletion. After everything he endured and overcame, this feeling still wouldn’t leave him alone!

Perhaps that was why he was ~~running away~~ avoiding these gatherings and ~~hiding~~ sulking on a roof instead. However, with this freezing air outside, he kind of wanted to switch with his creation and just lay in front of the fireplace in peace …  
The following crash sound accompanied with laughter drowned his thoughts out before they could even take shape.

Goddammit, how was one supposed to pout in solitude when this bunch of idiots beneath him _(physically and metaphorically)_ wouldn’t shut up? Well, it was not like he lived here or anything, so he could just leave instead.

With a ~~sigh~~ huff, he stood up, hating how much his muscles protested under the freezing temperatures. Not even his suit spared him from this ~~misery~~ inconvenience. Was it a weird thing to assume that having your face-twin’s genes sucked? Because it certainly did. For being the superior third piece of the greater whole, he surely had to endure a lot of their weaknesses.

Casting this ridiculous hypothesis aside, he opened a dark corridor and went through it. The weather in the Realm of Darkness was much better. Mostly for the reason that there was none. You couldn’t feel any warmth or cold and there was no passing time or whatsoever. That’s how he liked it. Much better. Definitely an improvement to the mansion and their happy mood, music, decorations, food, games, fun …

Yeah, he needed to get away from there. His Unversed were only fueled by the negative emotion, which was probably ~~envy~~ annoyance, inside him.


	2. Restless

Vanitas always felt calm watching the nearly black ocean and the light behind dark clouds in the distance. It wasn’t too bright and intense. And the black weird stones just made it even cooler. Plus the quiet water. Why did these light-addicts always say this place was bad and they needed protection? Sure, the endless amount of Heartless was annoying sometimes but otherwise it was good enough to train and pass time here. Perhaps it was just Vanitas’s opinion. After all, compared to Twilight Town, Destiny Island and the Land of Departure, he felt less out of place here.

Right now it was rather quiet. Threatening in a way even, but Vanitas’s ego was convinced he’d be the most intimidating creature lingering here anyway. Which was why rarely the lesser Heartless, such as the lurking shadows, dared attacking him. However, that didn’t mean they still respected his existence.  
It seemed word had spread really fast who he was _siding_ with … Err, no, not really siding but staying. He was … on no one’s side anymore. Just his own way. Yeah, no more Master or anyone telling him what to do. He’s just generous when he picks up dumb seashells for Xion and Naminé on his journeys.   
He … wouldn’t pick their side or save their asses if something went down again. He had much more important things on his mind. Especially if he wanted to ensure his freedom was guaranteed. While everyone was waiting for Sora and his dumb friends to return, he was on his own yourney.

There was this strange pull in his chest. It told him the war wasn’t over. Not some PTSD shit or anything, it was like foreshadowing. He just knew it. It was literally in his genes. Because Vanitas was born through the Gazing Eye.   
He and his Void Gear had an odd connection to it, like relatives. Which meant two things: Firstly, it was impossible to kill the owner of the Gazing Eye _(which, of course, was the main reason why he lost every match against Xehanort during his training and for nothing else)_. The creation could not destroy what had given life to it; an attempt would only result in destroying himself. Secondly, he felt that the Gazing Eye had a new Master, the Keyblade itself calling for his allies. Maybe that was what caused this restlessness? He just had to make sure his instinct was wrong. Or, if it wasn’t, he would take that fucker out before he knew what kind of threat this time-tampering Keyblade was to Vanitas.

Nevertheless, knowing this wasn’t upsetting him right now. Well, he could try to somehow get the Gazing Eye for himself and be free once and for all of any limits. But after everything he went through with the X-Blade, he wasn’t really up for another Keyblade-hunt. Yet.  
Still, there was a high possibility that this wasn’t going to be the last war. And if those stupid fools wanted to fight against the new evil again, he wouldn’t stop them this time … But he also wouldn’t help them, of course!

And if they were in peril and Vanitas just around the corner … If they were in the same position as before in the Graveyard, he would …

Vanitas forgot how to breathe for a second. Since when had he stopped walking? He was heading to the black beach, his favorite spot. Right. Why should he worry about stuff like this anyway? As if they would do the same for him – Ugh, fuck, yes they would. However, he wasn’t like them! And never would be!

Eventually, he reached his destination. His thoughts were running wild as he sat down on the sand and watched the dim sun in the distance, that would never set or rise.   
He had these weird thoughts and daydreams lately. The beach on Destiny Island at night, with himself, Naminé and Liku watching the horizon. The bright _(and not heart shaped)_ moon and sparkling stars while there was nothing but content silence between them and the shiny reflected ocean-waves.

As peaceful and calming as it seemed, Vanitas couldn’t fully accept it. No matter how friendly they acted, he kept thinking it was just an ulterior motive or that they just did those nice things because they expected him to be like Sora.  
Because that was exactly what this was. Naminé was Kairi’s Nobody, Liku was Riku’s Replica and he was Sora’s Shadow. And all of them had their counterparts’ memories, certain habits and looks. No matter how subtle or dull the traits were, it did not change the fact that those feelings he had towards them was just another of one of his brothers’ inducted and suppressed feelings.

He was nothing like Sora. Naminé was nothing like Kairi – at least in his opinion, he avoided talking to that princess like eating Axel’s self-cooked food. And Liku was nothing like Riku, except that his name was even more stupid. At least he had a better taste with clothes. And Vanitas did not just think that because they both wore suits with attached skirts on a daily basis. Of course not.

Yet it didn’t change the fact, that he was constantly reminded of his face-twin and his happy go lucky friends that went to search for that dumbass to the end of the world and beyond. His weak feelings, empathy and pity, probably also were just a result of Sora and his stupid connection to his even more stupid friends.

Perhaps it was for the best to keep his distance from them. They literally lived in different worlds. All this sparkle and happy-sunshine life wasn’t meant for him, nor was it Vanitas’s taste. He just … won’t ever get used to it. Company and noise made by many talking voices, laughter and nice words.   
What even was so awesome about this? Friends. Who needed those, right? Well, he didn’t get used to the unwanted company, but he found he didn’t mind it as much anymore, than in the beginning. But a family? Axel said a lot nonsense during the day, but that was the chef’s kiss of them all so far.

What did that even mean? They weren’t blood related. The closest for that term were Sora, Ventus and Xehanort. Which, by the way, he would never ever accept. For all he cared, he wasn’t an ordinary human being, nor a decent one, so he simply figured all that nonsense about different types of relationships didn’t fit him and therefore he didn’t need them. Case solved.

Still he found himself angrily glaring at the horizon as if it would deny him the answers he desired for questions, he had no idea how to phrase them in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, among many theories about Vanitas in the Game Series, there are a lot stating that Vanitas might be within Sora since he said "You made your heart a prison, even if you are not the prisoner" or something like it.   
> And, well, I have the theory that Vanitas has a special bond to the Gazing Eye, since it was the Keyblade that created him. Sure, he's connected to Ventus and Sora because of his heart. His body however, that's another story. And if anyone would know about the Gazing Eye still existing, then it would be Vanitas :3 So I have the firm hope that, since the Gazing Eye still exists, there should also be something of him left (I just wish we get to see him again in future games T_T my edgy bean deserves it).   
> I mean, why else would we get to fight against Vanitas's Remnant in BBS? And with Terra as the Lingering Will, my mind is just running wild every since xD (which brought me into this fandom and was my inspiration for Expression, so that's that I guess)
> 
> Alright, enough of my Ted-Talk.  
> I hope you liked todays little chapter ^-^  
> Stay tuned for tomorrow~


	3. Alone

Staring at the eternal ocean didn’t help him. In fact, alone with his thoughts, it was hard to cast these irritating feelings aside.

Fed up with doing nothing but wallow in doubts, Vanitas stood up, walking a little along the shore. The water here felt different than the fluid out of the faucet in the mansion. Or the water in any other world. It was neither freshwater nor saltwater. It didn’t smell or taste like anything and he assumed if he tried to drink it, it would just evaporate inside his body. This theory was supported by the fact that his suit and hair dried much faster here than they would elsewhere. It wasn’t cold or warm. Just wet nothingness. Or darkness. Whatever you called it.

Except for these crazy rock-sculptures, there was nothing else inside too. No life in the water, nor anything else than rock and sand. No seashells either.   
Vanitas paused. On his random journeys, he had been at a few beaches. But the best looking had been in one specific world only. It was just a short stay, since he just randomly jumped between worlds to look for Heartless-infected _(or any other enemies with negative energy)_ places so he could become stronger. Secondary face-twin Xion claimed she’d never seen a more beautiful shell and thanked him with an earnest smile. Receiving such an emotion was … weird. He didn’t even know why he brought her and Naminé some in the first place. He didn’t really think anything when he picked them up. Or why he picked them up at all.

Vanitas shook his head, dismissing this topic as way too stupid to focus on, although it distracted him from the other irritating things.

He didn’t want to stay here. But he also didn’t want to go back. The Graveyard popped up in his mind, but that too was quickly shoved aside. Sometimes he was drawn back to this place for nostalgic reasons, but mostly that place just reminded him of all his failures and other things he’d like to forget …

So he did what he always did in situations like these. Vanitas opened yet another corridor and went through, without any destination in mind and kept walking through the pitch black abyss. He’d arrive somewhere eventually.

Maybe the thought of seashells and the memory of Xion’s and Naminé’s happy faces brought him here. Maybe it was just an accident. But he soon found himself on the very beach he had imagined earlier.

While it had been sunset in Twilight Town, it was already night out here. The lack of time in the Realm of Darkness could have something to do with that, but time differences between worlds weren’t uncommon too, so he didn’t mind much. Not that he cared anyway. He had no appointments or whatsoever. It didn’t matter how long he was gone anyway, they wouldn’t miss him. Especially when they had way too much fun for someone like him to ruin that with his mere presence.

_“… Please text us when you leave”_

Unconsciously, Vanitas reached for his phone and saw the notification that he had already several unread messages. It usually wasn’t so urgent, they mostly left him his space, even when he ignored them. Was this really such a special day that they wanted him back ~~home~~ there so badly?

He frowned, wondering if he should open the screen and read all this shit. The most were from Liku. Usually Naminé texted him and – what the hell, was that a message from Ventus?! He didn’t remember giving him his number or even receiving it. Which meant it had been saved in advance.

Now he was pissed and refused to open them even more.

He contemplated if throwing the phone into the ocean, to get rid of these annoying people wanting to know if he was okay, was worth losing his portable music box. He would never know, because his debate was cut short when he heard a rustle in the exotic forest behind him.

“Sora?” a funny, definitely not human, voice questioned and a creature perked up. It was too dark to make more than simple shapes out, but before Vanitas could react and tell it to fuck off and get a pair of glasses, the thing charged towards him. With remarkable speed, the beast ran and jumped.

Vanitas let his phone fall in order to cart wheel out of the way, but the thing was quick to adjust its direction and practically hopped into his arms, knocking both of them over in the process.

He didn’t know what was worse. Being called Sora or having a fluffy ball of SOMETHING clinging to his chest.

“Get off!”

For a small furry blue creature, this thing was surprisingly strong, so Vanitas had to grab it with both his hands and looked into big black eyes. Wasn’t that this alien prisoner he once saw on a spaceship? What was it name again? Experiment 626?  
Said Experiment seemed to analyze him and sniffed curiously. He looked like Sora, kind of smelled like Sora, but yet it wasn’t Sora. What was this sorcery?!

Grunting, Vanitas sat upright again and shoved 626 as far away as possible. Somehow it seemed less angry and threatening than it was the last time he saw it.

“So this is your world?” He probably talked mostly to himself, but still glared at the thing that sat down and picked his nose with his own tongue. Vanitas had to avert his gaze after that to avoid a gag reflex. The loud smacking wasn’t helping.

Last time he checked, this thing couldn’t survive in water or whatever the other aliens had bubbled about when he spied on them and Ventus. And now it lived on an island?

626 tilted his head, its long ears laid back. Almost unsure and sad for not being recognized, it asked “You Sora?”

Vanitas wrinkled his nose, not sure if he should just summon Void Gear to get rid of it. He could hardly say he didn’t look like this idiot in the slightest. But man, it really annoyed him. “No, I’m not _Sora_.” He spit the name like poison from his mouth. Why was he so pissed? Surely, it wasn’t just because of this weird encounter.

“Who then?” It asked again, perking up and sniffing with curiosity. For all he cared, Vanitas could just ignore this dumb alien and go. Well, no, he had been here first and this warm beach was much better than freezing Twilight Town or the Realm of Darkness. Yeah he just spontaneously decided so out of spite.

“Vanitas.” He simply put a hand on his chest, like he was talking to a toddler, and wondered why he even bothered to tell it that. With as much sarcasm, before it could introduce himself, he continued. “And you’re 626, I assume.”

“No!” It protested, jumping on its feet again. “Stitch!”

“Stitch?” Vanitas repeated, raising one of his eyebrows. That name was not a real upgrade in his opinion, but his own name was just as worse, especially because of the person who picked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once saw a picture of Vanitas and Stitch on Instagram and I'm convinced they would make a great team of cute creations of destrcution :D  
> And I think Stitch can teach him a thing or two~


	4. Lost

“My name Stitch.” It answered once again and walked a few steps closer “Stitch and Sora are friends.”

“Hmpf, good for you.” Vanitas rolled his eyes and didn’t hide the fact that he wasn’t enjoying this conversation, while he turned away from the alien and faced the ocean again. However, Stitch wouldn’t leave him alone and just sat right next to him.

“Vanitas and Sora friends too?” The small nuisance asked again, looking at him from the side. Vanitas refused to meet his eyes and stared straight ahead. The moon and stars were really clear in this world …

“No.” This alone could’ve been enough of an answer, yet he still felt the need to add “We’re brothers, in a weird way.”

“Oh, Ohana!” Stitch joyfully added and was surprised how his new companion didn’t share his enthusiasm.

“What the hell is Ohana?” And why the hell did Vanitas even waste his time asking? He could do literally anything else instead, he … just couldn’t think of one right now.

“Ohana means family.” Stitch grabbed his feet with his claws and swung forth and back, happy to tell someone else what he had learned from his new family.

“Ugh, no, that stuff doesn’t work for me.” Vanitas snarled and saw the look of disbelieve in the corner of his eyes. “Family is worthless. Just a bunch of people I share looks and abilities with.”  
He ignored how Stitch’s ears dropped. This boy, on the other hand, reminded Stitch of the ugly duckling. He didn’t see a threatening angry teenager, but a lonely heart, just like he once was.

Apparently Vanitas didn’t know about Ohana. Or he was sad and lost, like in that book. But since he learned to be friendly and wanted to become friends with Sora’s brother too, he wanted to find a way to make the brooding twin smile.

He looked around, spotting seashells. But upon being given some, Vanitas just looked at him with disinterest and kept sulking, his eyes fixed on the ocean.

A sudden idea struck him “Wait!” and he disappeared in the forest again, probably running back home and hopefully leaving him alone.

Vanitas didn’t care. That odd behavior made him wonder what this things’ ulterior motive was, but most of all he was content finally having his peace again. Now, what was he sulking about again?  
Looking around, between the handfuls of seashells next to him, was his gummyphone. Abandoned, in the sand. Oh well, he could take a look.  
Before he even as much as lifted his hand, the phone lit up. Since it was on silent mode, it meant probably anything from a message to a call. Suddenly, the urge to look became both less and stronger for various reasons. One was curiosity, the other resentment over what might await him. Maybe just more noisy texts and stupid posts with happy faces on Kingstagram

A loud sound ~~scared~~ startled him. Almost like a cat spotting a cucumber, he jumped on his feet and spun around.  
To his surprise, he didn’t spot any threat in his sight. Only after lowering his head, he noticed Stitch tuning a tiny guitar. Vanitas had … actually used one before. It was his first Keyblade-transformation and he … Nevermind.  
Well, he guessed staying with the idiots in the mansion and owning a phone indeed had a few advantages. Otherwise he wouldn’t have this new ~~diversion~~ time passing opportunity of his.

Pushing these thoughts aside, Vanitas reacted like he usually did when something irritating and probably stupid happened in front of him. He lowered his Keyblade, one of his eyelids twitching dangerously, and asked, “What the hell are you doing?”

Stitch cleared his throat and, after tuning his small instrument, started singing. And no, it wasn’t cute or good. In fact, it was like nails scratching on a chalkboard. “Aloha oe! Aloha oe! Ikeona ona noho ikAniiipOOO!”

Now, Vanitas wasn’t a coward. In fact, he just didn’t like certain things to a certain degree. And thinking that the loud and incredible hurting roar of that monster on the Monstropolis world had hurt and startled his sensitive hearing … this was even worse. While his skills of playing this weird guitar were actually good and Stitch put a lot of effort into it, that was not making up for his terrible singing voice.  
Again, Vanitas was not one to ever back down. BUT it was only self-preservation to drop Void Gear in order to shield his ears and not to become deaf. At times like this, he wanted to summon his helmet really badly. Why he didn’t try to do it anymore, was a mystery to him. Escpecially being among strangers it would offer protection. Surely he must’ve been infected with Sora’s obliviousness too.

“One fond embrace~!” Stitch continued, until a string on his instrument ripped and he stopped playing to repair it. He mumbled some gibberish. Apparently playing his ukulele to comfort his new friend didn’t work as he had planned.  
Vanitas figured opening a dark corridor was only proving his weakness. He had been here first. And being scared off by a tiny alien playing music was even more humiliating than being stunned by a giant monster with horns and thrown out of a world. Well, both were incredibly pathetic for the record. Luckily, there was no evidence such a situation ever happened, but he definitely wouldn’t let that happen again.

“I swear, if you even think of playing another chord, I – why are you even like this?! Last time I checked you were created for destruction or some shit!” Vanitas reached his hand out to grab that devilish guitar and break it in half, but Stitch quickly reacted, embracing it close to his body to shield it. He seemed like he would defend it with his life. There was a small hint of a snarl as his fangs showed, but the alien quickly calmed down.

“No! Stitch is good! Also cute and fluffy.” He pouted.

Vanitas, ever the one to insult people, covered his rising irritation up by smirking and provoking. “Oh really? Says who?”

“Stitch’s family!” The alien retorted, proud to say something like this. “Stitch found family all on his own.” For reasons unknown, he carried a picture of them in his ukulele. He grabbed inside the opening hole on the lower base and proudly presented one of many selfies of him and his big weird family. Now, Jumba as his creator made sense, but the rest was just stupid nonsense.

“You can’t **find** a stupid family.” Vanitas crossed his arms, his gaze stern while Stitch once again tilted his head and laid his ears back. Seeing such an ~~empathetic~~ pitiful expression just made Vanitas cringe. “You know what, forget it. Why am I even wasting my time with you?”

He turned around and walked away, hoping to finally find some peace. Little did he know that Stitch was far too curious to know more about Sora’s twin to just let what topic go. He wanted to help the lost duckling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once saw a comment under a YouTube Video (Enter The Darkness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU3ZXY56U6Q) where someone said that an E-Guitar would be Vanitas's Keyblade-Transformation and he's the one playing it in there and I swear, I haven't been the same ever since, after I imagined an edgy Vanitas playing, problably with some Unversed to do the background music xD  
> So, while Naminé is an artist with drawing, I think it would be a good coping counterpart for Vanitas, if he had the same artist-gene, just with music (does he also sing? Well, we'll find out eventually :3). I just think it's important that he has a hobby besides fighting. One that ironically makes him deal with his emotions, embracing instead of ignoring them.


	5. Just a little broken

After a while of walking, Vanitas had plucked in his headphones, which he kept in his inventory, and put some music on. While he was walking, he couldn’t refrain from scrolling down the list of messages he got. A lot of pictures were posted on Kingstagram. As expected, he was spammed with pictures of decorated trees, food, fancy boxes, stupid quotes and … was that a selfie of Ventus with his even more stupid friends? And why did they have these ridiculous red fluffy hats on?

Still, it wasn’t the picture itself that disturbed him the most. It was the text beneath, which made his gag reflex return.

_“Wish all my friends in all worlds a Merry Christmas out there! And Sora, Vanitas, wherever you two are right now, I hope you have a good time too. #HappyHolidays #ChristmasSpirit #Family #BrotherlyLove #HeartTriplets #WayfinderForever"_

… Alright, enough internet for today. With wide eyes and unsure what to even feel about this, he wordlessly turned his phone off, before he even got to the posts and messages of the mansion-gang _(because they involuntarily put him in a group. For whatever reason. It mostly just meant more annoying spam – He had at least fifty mages of this disgusting seasalt Ice Cream)._

“Ugh, why can’t this stupid Christmas just be over already.” Ebenezer Scrooge’s reincarnation kicked a seashell in front of him, mad at everything and everyone that crossed his mind. Things suck. One stupid ‘special’ day didn’t magically change that.

“Why is Vanitas sad?”  
Said grumpy teen must have been **really** irritated if he didn’t even notice that thing stalking him.  
Now, Vanitas could just shove him away, fight him or tell him to mind his own fucking business … but he didn’t quite feel like it at the moment. He was too occupied figuring out why there was this big storm of emotions inside him. Most of his concentration was focusing on not flooding the beach with Unversed. The pain of them beneath his skin wasn’t as horrible anymore like it used to be, but their – his – rage was still something he had to live and dealt with _(well, he mostly avoided doing the latter, but overall he could say his temper was more under control than it ever was)_.

So, instead of doing all of the things he originally wanted to do, he said “I don’t know! Okay?! I have no fucking idea. It’s just … frustrating.”  
In response to his admission, Stitch sat down on the sand, patting the spot next to him as if inviting him to vent about his problems. Not having any strength left to put his pride first, Vanitas just slumped down, sighing – which more sounded like a growl.

“Vanitas not happy?”

At first he wanted to make an insulting remark, but he found, he had no answer to that question. He had never been truly happy, just … less mad at the universe occasionally. And that was only the case when he just relaxed to listen to music. Or on these rare moments in the mansion, when everyone wasn’t bothering him, just content silence and some conversations about things he could relate to.  
For example, that time when he tried to teach Naminé his magic, like teleportation or telekinesis, how he moved things or cast spells without saying anything, just with movements. And talking with Liku about anything relating darkness. It didn’t feel like a forbidden topic to discuss with them.

Sometimes training with everyone else was also even more amusing than defeating them in a sparing-duel. Like that time when Axel tried to use his Keyblade to open a door and it smacked Saix in the face who was just about to enter on the other side. That was one of the only times he laughed along with everyone. He laughed so hard his mad laughter sounded more like a nerdy hiccup that made his stomach hurt. Because seeing others in pain and embarrassing themselves was fucking hilarious, but no one usually agreed with him out loud.

… Then again, it was probably just the influence of Sora, Kairi and Riku, that he felt comfortable there sometimes, without consciously noticing so until he paid attention to it. He was just confused and overwhelmed by irritating emotions he couldn’t classify. Was he upset for being so weak? Was he mad at everyone else? Or just angry at **himself** for not being angry when he was supposed to be? And when was he supposed to be what, to begin with?!

“I don’t know what happiness feels like.” He admitted dryly, his expression hidden behind his raven hair as his head lowered. “I just don’t get the point. How could being selfless and nice to others or just wanting to make someone else feel good be such a big deal? Why should I like being surrounded by happy-go-lucky fools? No matter what happens to them, they act as if everything will always be okay in the end. I don’t understand how one could have so much naïve hope.”

“Stitch not knew either.” Stitch said after a moment of silence. “I created to destroy. Never knew what good is. How it feels.” The alien seemed sad, but then lit up as he remembered the good things after he stranded here. “But Stitch learned how to be good and meaning of Ohana!”

Vanitas huffed. Again there was this Ohana nonsense. “You know, a family doesn’t mean you’re inevitably happy. Neither of us have a real one anyway.”

“I do! Ohana means family. Family means: no one gets left behind or forgotten.” Stitch finally got to explain the whole meaning and smiled brightly.  
Now this made Vanitas pause. This was unlike anything he ever heard or learned in his five years of existence. He never looked at it this way. Words were just terms for him and didn’t have any further meaning to him, so he couldn’t quite understand what he should do with this new information.

Stitch smiled and slowly lifted his ukulele. But after receiving another glare from Vanitas, he lowered it just as slowly afterwards. So much to play Aloha Oe to make someone feel better. Well, Lilo would be happy nonetheless. “Vanitas not bad.”

“Huh?”

“Vanitas just a little broken. But still good.”

“And what makes you think that?” Vanitas raised one of his eyebrows. “I may look like Sora, but I’m nothing like him. You don’t know me.”

“But Vanitas and Stitch can still be friends.” Stitch shrugged. He had abandoned his instrument a while ago and started making a sand castle on his legs. “You not have to be like Sora.”

“Hm.” Vanitas nodded absently and laid down in the sand, arms behind his back. For some reason this kind of … soothed him to hear someone else say so. He didn’t even really notice that he involuntarily had accepted to be called an koala-alien’s friend. Because if you never declined, that automatically meant yes, as he had to learn with this bunch of idiots in Twilight Town.

Eventually, he closed his eyes and relaxed. Not really noticing how he started to hum the song that Stitch attempted to play earlier. It was just stuck in his head and he actually did not care that he wasn’t alone right now, since Stitch apparently decided to shut up for now.

After finally having at least a tiny grasp on content peace, Vanitas was just about to drift to a relaxing nap, listening to the ocean waves. However, like always, his salvation was short-lived.

“Vanitas, is that you?” a soft familiar voice suddenly asked.

Well, fuck.


	6. Gift

His eyes shot open the moment he heard Naminé saying his name. Vanitas went through the five stages of grieve in a split second as he wondered where in his short life he had gone wrong – more than planned, that was – to be punished like this.

She was bending over him, relieved and smiling fondly. Her slender figure was covered with a white furry coat and wet tiny crystals dripped from her hair, indicating they had just arrived. Yes, **they**. To make things worse, she wasn’t alone. Repliku was also with her, a black scarf over his suit tied around his neck and a jacket. Weird, he hadn’t seen that kind of clothing on him before _(and with his skirt, it just looked ridiculous)._

“We finally found you.” Naminé looked like she had been worried. It was far too easy to picture her with red hair. Ugh, he hated these blurry images planted in his skull by his brothers’ hearts. Even if it was unintentionally.

“Did you trace my connection again?” Vanitas spit hostile, jumping back on his feet.

“Of course not! We know you don’t like it. But you shared your location on your phone, so I asked Liku to open a dark corridor, so we could find you.” She appeased him and Liku crossed his arms, as if that wasn’t a big deal at all. They went through the Realm of Darkness and all the way here just because of his stupid mistake. As if he would ever share his whereabouts voluntarily!

“Stupid thing.” He mumbled, wondering where Stitch had gone. That explained why it had been so quiet. The sand castle and traces of his footprints were evident, but the alien was nowhere to be seen.

“It’s so beautiful here.” Naminé knew how uncomfortable Vanitas was and instead of asking why he ran away, she gave him his space and looked at the shining night sky. The big full moon, the stars, the glowing ocean beneath all this light. There was actually so much beauty in darkness, if you knew where to look. “Is this where you got the seashells from?”

Vanitas shrugged and looked to Repliku over his shoulder who only observed the scenario so far. Yeah, they weren’t good with words. It was actually rather awkward when they couldn’t provoke and fight each other, whether it was training or a fight against Heartless. They were competing all the time like true rivals, as silly and childish as it may seem _(Vanitas always had the time of his life by making Liku angry. Especially since he could feed off his anger in the process)._ Like, who slayed more enemies in five minutes? Who was stronger in this and that game? You know, all that. And Naminé was highly amused watching them each time. She trained with Merlin her magic while they would go wherever and …   
Ugh, why did that even matter? It was probably just because of Sora, Riku and Kairi anyway.

“Care to explain us why you ran away?” Liku finally addressed the cursed subject, but sounded unusually calm and tender. Naminé probably talked him into this. Or it was because today was ‘a special day’. But Vanitas preferred the angry gremlin more than a rational ~~Riku~~ idiot.

“I was fed up with this entire joyful mood. As if Twilight Town isn’t annoying on a normal day already.” He kicked the poor excuse of a sand castle absently. If his suit had pockets, he would shove his hands in there to show how many fucks he gave about this holiday. Less than zero. Just like the fucking degrees outside. “The strongest negative emotion I felt this week was a dumb kid crying because there’s no snow to go ‘ _sledding’_. Whatever that is.”

“Are you sure it was just that and nothing more?” Okay, it was really creepy how Idiotica acted.

Vanitas felt uneasiness grow inside his stomach. He hated how tender and nice they sometimes spoke to him. Like he honestly meant anything to them. The mere thought just made his stomach feel weird, as if he was about throw up. An emotion called anxious. But even when Pence often claimed he had suffered from panic attacks half a year ago, he refused to believe this stupid nonsense. Panic was for mortal humans and he was a creature superior to that. Why wouldn’t they just all stop giving him these pitiful stares and everything? He clearly despised it! Attention was only wanted if he indicated it, what was so hard to understand about that?!

“Did you just come all the way here to annoy me?” He snarled, not able to look them in the eyes. “Christmas just doesn’t work for me. I … would just ruin the mood with my attendance anyway.”  
He said this like it was just a simple fact. Which it was to him. Everyone was still wary of Vanitas, even if they pretended to like and accept him. He was sure of that. Because as soon as he entered, they either didn’t notice him at first or became all silent. Usually he found that amusing with strangers or everyone else, but with the mansion-residents, it felt like they just judged and pitied him. He rather kept his distance than trying to walk on eggshells. Which was a no-go for someone as bold as him.

“What? No!” Naminé’s eyes widened and she carefully touched his shoulder. He didn’t flinch or shoved her hand away, so she assumed it was okay. “We would be happy if you joined us. You’re our friend and we want you to be happy too.”

“I don’t even know how that works.” He mumbled with a sour look on his face. He didn’t need to look up to know that he received said pitiful expressions right now. Bullshit.

“I didn’t know either at first. But it gets easier, just one step at a time.” Liku assured him. The smile was probably meant to be encouraging but it just looked so weird on his usually stern expression. At least when regarded for him, and not anyone else. “Just give it a try and maybe you’ll get used to it.”

Naminé nodded, until she perked up as she just remembered something important and smiled widely. “Oh, I know, we can start with this!”  
She looked inside one of her big cloak-pockets _(wasn’t it much too warm for her in this world? Well, he wore a suit, but he was used to heat)._ Then she handed him a small black box with a red shiny ribbon on top.

Irritated, Vanitas stared at the gift, not sure what he was supposed to do or answer to this. Naminé simply took one of his gloved hands and gently put the fancy box in his palm. Frozen, Vanitas didn’t dare to move an inch on his own, as she slowly pulled the ribbon open.   
“I know we shouldn’t open our presents until tomorrow, but we all decided to make an exception.”

Vanitas.exe finally rebooted and he opened the lid. A tiny reddish glow and a few sparkles spilled over. The Witch had made this present with magic, he guessed. Inside was a red crystal-star shaped pendant.   
“I bought these a while ago, but I wasn’t sure if you’d like it as a bracelet, necklace or something else, so I … uhm … if you don’t like it, that’s also okay.” She fiddled with the hem on her sleeves. It was really hard to find a gift for Vanitas, since she knew what he didn’t like _(that list was endless)_ , but finding the opposite was very difficult.

“It’s … okay, I guess.” He shrugged, taking the accessory out with his fingers and turned it in the moonlight. Despite being clearly uncomfortable and not used to situations like these, Vanitas put effort to sound sincere. He didn’t hate the gift. He was more surprised he got one in the first place. He also noticed that she wore a bracelet with a yellow star pendant, the threat around her wrist covered in pearls.

“I got one too.” Liku presented his necklace beneath the scarf. It was a shade between blue and purple and simply attached to a black leather-cord.

Vanitas was reminded of the Wayfinders, seeing these colored things and he kind of regretted owning one now. But he was surprisingly decent enough not to throw it away. “Can you make it into a keychain?”

“Sure!” Naminé cheered up and folded her slim fingers around it, the red glowing intensified until the pendant was part of a short metal chain to attach it wherever he wanted. Seeing how happy it made her … Maybe it was worth keeping that thing then. Screw the other trios and any similarities.

Vanitas summoned Void Gear and put it next to his Keyblade-pendant on the end of his handle. It definitely had no magical powers that would influence it so it wouldn’t hinder him during a fight, he assumed. “Thanks … Naminé.” After Liku loudly cleared his throat, he unenthusiastically added “And _Liku_.”

“Wow, how honorable. I can count the times you said my actual name on one hand.”

“Yeah, because it still sucks, Idiotica.”

“Guys, please, no fighting tonight.” Naminé mediated before they could start another argument resulting in a ridiculously exaggerated brawl. “So … what would you like to do now, Vanitas?”

“… Why do you care?” He retorted, crossing his arms.

“Well, we can stay here a little longer … Or we could go back. Maybe try some of Axel’s cookies and just relax?” She knew how much Vanitas avoided eating with the others, but she also knew for a fact that he at least tried some of it when he thought no one would notice, despite hating consuming food. Partially he blamed his Cat-Unversed for that, which was a complete glutton compared to him.

Vanitas contemplated the idea and while he wasn’t very keen on returning, he also wasn’t in the mood to stay here for much longer. Shrugging he decided, “Fine, let’s go back.” The pleased looks on their faces both warmed and annoyed him. Which was also both irritating and suspicious to him.

Was his own persona clashing with Sora’s influence? What kind of magic or power was that? “Just … go ahead.”

Before they could answer, he ~~panic-~~ teleported in the blink of an eye out of their sight.


	7. Embracing

A body of darkness was weird. At some moments, it was hard to even its breath and keep a calm pulse.

Heavily, Vanitas leaned against a tree and clutched a hand to his chest. Why was he so upset all of a sudden? His mind was overwhelmed with thoughts and he had no idea what he was supposed to do or think now. Confronted with such unfamiliar situations, he was biased. His first reaction to anything was to push it away, but … No, no that was just because of Sora and Ventus. It had to be. He … even after half a year, he still hadn’t figured out what he felt about Naminé, Liku and the others. He spent time with them, talked with them and yet … what did that even mean to him? Or to them? And why should Vanitas care?  
Spinning, spinning thoughts circling in his mind.

Unintentionally, a few Unversed formed out of the black smoke that oozed from is torso as he bended over, trying to suppress the panic that came with his irritation. The result was that two Floods and a Hareraiser now hopped around him. Without any orders or real purpose, they acted irrationally and just stayed near their creator. Of course, they felt their Master’s distress, but without knowing what was upsetting him or how to stop it, they soon became distressed too. Vanitas, feeling the same as they did, only grew more frustrated as he had no idea how to stop this mess.

“Cousins?” Stitch had remained close to Vanitas. After his sudden disappearance, the alien followed the trace of Vanitas’s smell. It was not that hard to distinguish from the surroundings, since he smelled like burned ash with a hint of cherry blossom.

The Floods and Hareraiser noticed the intruder and began to circle around Stitch. For a second, Vanitas thought he would have to prepare for the physical pain of his dying Unversed or a horrible alien-scream. But instead of fighting them, Stitch seemed exited and sniffed the Unversed curiously. They smelled exactly like Vanitas!  
The Hareraiser was really irritated by the intimidate behavior and cart wheeled with its ears out of reach, which Stitch applauded to and cooed. The two Floods, a little jumpy but also very curious, got closer and investigated the alien from both sides.

Vanitas watched the four creatures play. He barely registered that this was enough of a distraction to calm down. Eventually, the Unversed disappeared again, crawling back to the source where they belonged.  
Stitch was a little disappointed to lose his new comrades, but he quickly focused on Vanitas again. “Why Vanitas not go with friends?”

Sighing, Vanitas leaned his head back, hitting the tree with it, watching the leaves doing absolutely nothing. “It’s bad to get too attached.” He stated.

“Why?”

“… It messes with my head.” And with his fledgling feelings he couldn’t push aside. Because, unlike his usual turmoil that caused the Unversed to appear, the emotions that upset him the most were so irritating, he couldn’t even voice them, let alone give them shape. Therefore, he unable to properly vent and get rid of them, since they didn’t create Unversed. “All thanks to Sora and Ventus.”

“I think Vanitas scared to lose his Ohana before even embracing it.”

His Ohana? How dare this alien talk such garbage about him! As if they … this thing had no idea! He knew nothing about his life! “You don’t get it, they … We’re just influenced by others. They only pretend or think they like me, because they see nothing but a messed up Sora they want to safe so badly!” He clenched his fists, looking down on Stitch.

“But if Vanitas says he nothing like Sora, why should his friends be like others?” Stitch tilted his head, smiling. “They are special - like you. So they understand. And maybe they want Vanitas to know it’s okay not be like Sora but himself around them too?”

Vanitas was not sure what irritated him more. The fact that this made sense or the fact that he just got wisdom or life-advice from a blue koala-alien that didn’t even reach to the height of his kneecaps.  
A little childish voice in the back of his mind yelled, told him to just give himself a push and at least try to enjoy this. To spent time with the only people that apparently ever genuinely cared and wanted his company. Another was still suspicious. Could it really be possible that humans were capable of just doing something without expecting anything in return? No ulterior motives? No backstabbing?  
Furthermore, what made them so sure Vanitas wouldn’t take advantage of that? He pondered about the last question for a while now. And even back then he had no set answer to it. The real question should probably be: Would Vanitas do it? Would he ever betray them?

He soon realized, he couldn’t confirm or deny it. One of his skills was to be unpredictable. The disadvantage was; it seemed to apply also to him.  
For unknown reasons, he kinda felt bad for it. He wasn’t even sure if he could ever repay them their foolish kindness. Who knew, maybe they had enough of him someday? Enough of being treated the way he did …

Stitch was right. He was nothing like Sora and always claimed to be so, yet he compared Naminé and Liku with Kairi and Riku all the time. That alone was already hypocritical and traitorous, right? Perhaps he took more after Xehanort than Ventus and Sora … Oh fucking shit, hell no. Anything but that!

“… Perhaps you’re right.” Okay, it was harder than expected for Vanitas to admit this. But the unconscious fear of ending up like that old bastard was enough to give this whole ‘spread kindness’ a shot. At least once a year. He could live with that. Probably. Only for one night. “Thanks.”

“Of course! Vanitas and Stitch friends after all!” And suddenly Stitch hugged his leg. That tiny ball that was supposed to be his tail wagged happily. Well, this was … strange. Vanitas figured it was for the best to simply become a statue for this moment, since he was not used to be touched directly like that. That was maybe his second hug he ever got, if this one counted as such.

“… Whatever. I better get going.” After awkwardly standing around, he – for his standards – gently shoved Stitch aside and opened a dark corridor behind them.

Stitch, apparently used to stuff like this, just laughed and waved, as Vanitas went inside. In a sing-sang voice he called after him “Until we meet again!”

Vanitas turned around a last time, before he vanished inside the darkness and subtly nodded. Manners were not part of his skills but … he decided he didn’t hate 626 – err, Stitch.

Even if this Christmas wasn’t his type. Even if he wasn’t sure what he truly felt or wanted. Even if he had nothing to offer or give them … He could at least jump over his _(not Sora’s and Ventus’s)_ shadow and be there. For one night. And try to be a decent ‘human being’.

How bad could it possibly be?


	8. Ohana

The yard of the mansion was decorated with lots of lights. The broken pillars and statues were neatly tangled with color-changing LED’s. But what was most out of place was the white cold substance that stuck everywhere. Not only was it goddamn cold, but there were also huge particles of frozen water falling down the sky. The night was covered in a thick blanket of clouds. His breath fogged.  
And even if the mansion was secluded from Twilight Town, he could hear people singing and laughing all the way out here. Not only there, but also inside was this dumb music playing and he heard a mass of different voices talking, muddled babbling.  
The happy mood was practically radiating from the big house, town … the whole air even. He shivered, not just from the cold this time.

Biting his lip from the inside, Vanitas considered his limited options. He could still back down and sulk in the Realm of Darkness or go to literally any other world. Maybe just chill a little in space, the world in between worlds. Perhaps he could also go to the Land of Departure, find Ventus and taunt him a little to ruin the holiday for him. Or he could go to Halloween Town, he liked that place.  
For someone with no perspective or idea what to do, his mind was suddenly overflowing with other methods to pass his time – and get away from here.

His thoughts came to a halt when he spotted a living figure among the statues. Out of all people, it was **him**.

“Huh, didn’t expect you to actually show up.” Liku leaned against a pillar, his arms crossed and a foot pulled up. How long was he standing here?

“Well, I’m full of surprises” Vanitas remarked with a crooked grin. “Consider my presence a gift on its own.”

“Hmpf, believe it or not, I prefer being annoyed by you than putting up with your grumpy mood all month long.” Repliku shrugged, pushing himself off the marble. Had Vanitas really been that gloomy the whole time?

“Don’t worry, you’re going to regret that soon enough.” Awkward silence followed as they stood in the garden, glaring at each other. For once, it was Vanitas’s turn to back down, as he shivered and a cold burst of wind caused him to hug himself. How was Liku not freezing? As if that little jacked and scarf offered any protection!

“Present or not, I think Naminé and the others will be happy anyway.” Liku mostly murmured to himself and suppressed a gleeful grin since he knew how much Vanitas was going to hate this.

“Really?” Vanitas was about to tackle Liku down, as he turned his back on him and started walking away. “And what did you do out here anyway?”

Liku stopped but didn’t turn around. “You’re not the only one having a hard time you know. Sometimes I also prefer to have some space.” And he definitely did not wait out here, of course not … Maybe just a little. But most of all he just wanted a few calm minutes, watching the weather. “It’s also your first time to see that much snow, right?”

“Yeah, what about it? It’s still fucking c-cold and unnecessary.” Vanitas tried hard to sound tough while his teeth clattered and he stuttered while talking. And here he thought he was only weak to sleep-spells and shit like that. Liku exhaled an amused huff as he opened the door and Vanitas immediately felt warmth clashing with his face as if he was running against a solid wall.

The main hall was also decorated. It had been for two weeks, actually, with the help of magic. But he hadn’t paid much attention to it until now. All these lights and shiny ornaments were … not so bad. Just a little too much for the sore eye, but still it had this calming atmosphere. What he also noticed was a pleasant smell – undoubtedly not caused by Axel. That guy could only roast and grill, but anything else was just heresy to any decent cooking.

“Scrooge and Remi delivered their special Christmas-menu. Axel was fed up with all the complaints and since we got ‘too many mouths to feed’ anyway, he ordered instead.” Liku explained while they went down the hall.

“Best fucking idea he had in a while.” Vanitas commented, simply following him, as if he was just an occasionally guest in this mansion and did not have his own room that he shared with Liku. Well, sharing a room was more figuratively, they usually never slept at the same time and Vanitas rarely set foot in it at all. He knew it had two beds and stashed his inventory there, but that was it. The only one with a single room, or a spare bed, was Roxas. Lucky bastard. Not that Vanitas cared about owning a room here …

“Everyone’s in the living room. We had to set up the big table for the others.” Liku continued, halting in front of the big door. “I think there’s still some dinner left.”

“Others?” Vanitas raised an eyebrow but quickly frowned as the door swung open. The surprised faces of Axel, Roxas, Xion, Naminé and Saix met him. There were a lot of unoccupied chairs, seven in total. Each of them with empty plates, except for the one next to Naminé.

Vanitas immediately felt the presence of Ventus. Or at least knew that his brother had been here while he was gone. He wasn’t sure if he should be happy about it or not. After that incident in the past he rather avoided meeting him. Which was ironic, since he had always sought to be close, to forge the X-Blade, to fuse with Ventus … and now he rather did anything else because he just felt uncomfortable when he only thought about being in the same area as him.

As predicted, the whole room fell silent and nearly every gaze was turned towards him, wary of his every move and reaction. And where the hell did those Wayfinders hide now? Was this a trick? An ambush?

“Naw, come on, don’t be shy.” Axel cooed, putting the dishes with the leftovers back down. “There’s still plenty left.”

But Vanitas didn’t move. He could do as expected … or keep standing here like an idiot, speechless and social-awkward. This was a mistake. Coming here and trying to be one of the ‘good’ kids was absolutely dumb. Still, it was too late to regret his decision. He had miscalculated by a long shot and upon trying to play nice, he was now faced with the consequences.  
Thinking Ventus might still be in this world, out of sheer self-defense, Vanitas summoned his helmet back on. It slowly started to cover his whole face, the once broken right side closing last.

Before he could burst into a sprint, however, he felt Liku patting him on the back and gently pushing him forward. “Ventus and the others left a few minutes earlier. They’re visiting Radiant Garden, King Mickey’s and Yen-Sid’s place too.” He explained and Vanitas visibly relaxed a little. His cramped shoulders slumped down and he finally moved forward.

“Hayner, Pence and Olette also stopped by shortly.” Roxas added, looking through his gifted movie collection. They owned a TV for a while now, but until now he always borrowed movies from Hayner. The concept of television and computers was really fascinating and new to all of them. But to Roxas, movies were just the best.

Saix was busy trying to get his new laptop to work in an armchair. Pence had already volunteered to tutor him a little. No one knew why Saix felt the need to educate himself on technology, but he seemed to enjoy it so nobody said anything against it.

Axel had gotten a cook-book. A subtle hint from everyone that roasting and grilling on open fire wasn’t the universal method to make food. And apparently he got new boots too.

Xion held a big fancy seashell in her hands were you could hear the ocean when putting it close to the ear. A plush-dog was also next to her on the couch.

Naminé had already tried out her new art supplies, still sitting at the table with a few rough sketches in front of her. His Unversed was being spoiled on her lap, as usual.  
Vanitas wordlessly sat down next to her and began counting the seconds. Perhaps he should discard his mask now, because it probably drew the attention even more to him.

“You know, I think it’s going to be hard to eat with this thing on.” Liku commented, also sitting down next to him. Vanitas rolled his eyes so hard, he should probably sense it with his helmet either way.

“I’m not hungry.” Vanitas mumbled, his gloved hands clenching around the hem of his skirt under the table. He was actually doing well. He didn’t create unversed, he didn’t run away, he didn’t start a riot or whatsoever. He was sitting here, like a nice person would and suffered in silence. Yeah, he was not enjoying this Christmas-thing at all. Even if all that food actually looked edible and nice for a change.

Meanwhile, his Unversed cat was happily munching a tree-shaped cookie covered in chocolate and shiny sprinkles. Although its master was anything but relaxed, the creature seemed content and made a weird buzzing sound that probably counted as a ‘purr’. Vanitas was still getting used to it.  
For some reason, it didn’t obey him. Unlike any other Unversed, he had only a certain control over it, which was emotions he unconsciously transmitted, but aside from that, it only did what it wanted and didn’t listen to him when he silently gave it commands or wanted to absorb it.  
Yet, despite Vanitas being clearly stressed, even that didn’t faze the Unversed. It continued to munch the very interesting looking food. If he concentrated enough, he could almost taste the sweetness and feel the crunches on his own teeth …

Maybe he could just try one … Well, there were plenty? Like, a huge plate full.  
“Oh, right, we baked cookies this morning, you weren’t here.” Naminé told him. “I even made some cats.” She carefully picked one of the cookies up and showed him one with the shape of a cat’s head with tiny whiskers and dots as eyes out of glaze. They oddly resembled his Unversed.

Without thinking too much about it, he took the cookie and inspected it. Of course there was no way Axel would’ve made these all on his own. Although he wasn’t very versed in this field, he’d say they looked tasty and … cute.

To get this stupid night over with, Vanitas finally discarded his helmet and bit about half of the cookie at once. Mostly just used to liquid, as potions and sometimes water, he still found that feeling very weird. Crumbs in his mouth, munching, the fact that he had to move his tongue around to get the remains … He must look like the most strict food critic with that frown, when in reality he just tried to figure out how to not look like a complete idiot.

The result of this experiment was that Vanitas liked cookies. He liked sweets. And spicy – as he once tried Axel’s hot Cheetos out of spite and ended up eating the whole bag. And sour – as he once stole Liku’s Lemon Ice Cream out of the fridge just to annoy him. Till this day no one believed Liku he was the culprit in both cases.

“They’re okay.” He mumbled, nonchalantly taking the whole plate in front of him as he leaned back, trying to look as uninterested and grumpy as possible while enjoying these Christmas cookies.  
Apparently, this was very amusing to the others, as they smiled and sat in content silence.

Man, Vanitas must’ve missed quite a party when everyone was now just relaxing with food, a fireplace and a … giant fucking tree with ornaments? Since when was this even here?!

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself at least a little.” Naminé said after a while, patting the Unversed’s head and Vanitas once again felt this ghost feeling as if someone caressed through his own hair, which always gave him goosebumps. It was so weird, he couldn’t even decide what to feel about it.

“You know, if it continues to snow, maybe we could go sledding or Ice Skating tomorrow.” Axel offered, returning from the kitchen and finally sitting down on a chair. Vanitas wrinkled his nose at the thought of staying longer than necessary in that shitty weather.

“That would be exciting. I have never done either before.” Naminé smiled and Xion agreed with her. The others hummed or nodded, since except for maybe Axel and Saix, no one had even celebrated Christmas until today, so there would still be many first times in the future.

Vanitas contemplated that thought, He didn’t really care about those things. Usually because he didn’t knew what they were. Just like Christmas. But if it was that big of a deal to them, well, then they should enjoy it. He didn’t care, as long as no one forced or annoyed him.

“Well, it’s going to be very cold, so we better prepare for it.” Axel winked, hinting something and Vanitas was probably the only one who didn’t get it.

“Oh, right” Liku suspiciously cleared his throat and crossed his arms “Are you not going to open your other presents?”

“Huh?” Vanitas looked at him as if he had grown a second head. He already got one, what did he mean? Liku nodded towards the tree, where still two presents waited, neatly wrapped in black with red and purple ribbons.  
Why the fuck would they do something like that?

Hesitantly, he stood up and walked over to the tree. The red-ribboned one was a lot bigger. It was so pretty … he wanted to absolutely shred it to pieces. Needless to say, he ripped the packing off and opened the lid like a feral animal. He had decided, to safe his sanity for this evening as much as possible, he shouldn’t worry or think too much about anything and just go with his gut feeling. Thus far, he was doing good … maybe.

“We knew how much you suffered from the weather,” Xion said, coming up behind him as he took out another piece of clothing, hiding her smile behind her hand. “So we bought the warmest and fluffiest coat we could find!”

“Come one, try it on!” Roxas urged, also grinning shadily.

Vanitas doubtfully stared them down. Something was not right about this. However, as a decent human being, it was only appropriate. It would keep him warm and he couldn’t sense any danger coming from it. So, with a huff, he put the coat on.

“Don’t forget the hood!” Axel cheered, far too giggly.

Vanitas, still used to hoods from his time in the true Organization XIII, did as told _(but still sent them a death glare_ ). It turned out him, wearing this coat with the hood on, over his suit, was fucking hilarious to everyone, because suddenly all of them were laughing and looking at him.  
Vanitas felt utterly humiliated and put on display, yet his pride only allowed him to grimace as he endured the torture.

Naminé, feeling a little sorry for Vanitas, sheepishly smiled and held the Unversed-cat up “Now you two match even more.” The cat meowed distorted and curiously stared at his creator. Seeing his reflection in one of the ornaments, he noticed the hood had cat ears on it. “Don’t worry, they’re attached with Velcro fastener, you can take them off. We just thought … it’s a little funny.”

“Yeah, you look so cute!” Axel secretly took a picture of grumpy cat aka Vanitas and showed it too him. “It’s so pure, I’m going to cry.”

“If you don’t delete this, I’ll give you an actual reason to cry.” Vanitas grumbled, quickly putting the hood back down. His temper was surprisingly well controlled.  
Naminé expected him to be mad and tear the coat apart, to yell and just leave the room, but instead he just focused on the other present that was still on the floor.

Inside was a framed photo of them all. He couldn’t even remember when they made it, he wasn’t even looking at the camera. A selfie from Roxas, judging by the angle. Liku was also not noticing it, since it was one of their countless arguments. Their faces were really closed to each other, Vanitas had his hands in his hips, leaned a little forward and Liku looked like he was clenching his teeth and rising his fist.

“Ohana …” He mindlessly mumbled, his thump circling over the surface. He was reminded of those rare times when he was here, actually a part of everything. And that he indeed had fun, when he wasn’t just focusing on himself, his thoughts and his ego or problems. “… I think I’m starting to get it.”

“Hm?” Naminé feared he might not like the presents, but Vanitas shook his head.

“It’s nothing.” He said and noticed something else in the box. Along with the photo, there was also a black collar with a nametag.

“It’s for him” Naminé explained, holding up the Unversed. “When you finally decide on a name.”

Vanitas glared at his disobedient creation and huffed. “Yeah, ‘little shit’ is too long I guess.”

Liku actually laughed at that, while Xion defended the little guy “Come on, don’t be so mean to him all the time.”

Vanitas had put the presents aside. Still with the coat and his suit both on, he slumped down on the sofa. Although it was pretty late, Roxas still wanted to watch a movie together. Or, well, most of them. Axel and Saix both silently snored on the other couch.

Him, Naminé and Liku still sat on the table, all of them minding their own business. Vanitas wasn’t sure if he should stay or … go to his room or whatever.

_“Am I happy?”_

Vanitas still stared at the photo with mixed feelings. If something was to happen again, to them he … Perhaps he would take a side. Make a decision. And with the new owner of the Gazing Eye, there still was a threat for himself out there he had to take care of …  
Was he allowed to be here? Was it meant to be? Just an accident? What was his purpose?

“Naminé …” Since she always had advice for anything, it was only logical that he asked her. Both she and Liku perked up. “I don’t have any presents for anyone. Why did you gave me anything?”

“Because you’re our friend, of course.” She answered and smiled as sweetly as always. Liku nodded.

“… But why?” Vanitas wasn’t good with words, but his expression said always more than enough. He looked at her and expected an answer to a question that meant so much more than he could describe. There was a hint of despair and irritation in his golden eyes. “Am I just a broken Sora?”

“No! Vanitas, you …” Naminé had no words. “You’re so much more than that. You belong to our family.”

“But **why**? When have I ever done something that would make you think so?”

“Vanitas.” Liku took over, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re a pain in the ass, but the only evil things you did so far were stealing food, being a freeloader and corrupting Xion and Roxas with your mischiefs.” He grinned. “We can’t force you to return our feelings and efforts the same way, but we accept you for who you are, not because of your dumb face and origin.”

Vanitas wasn’t sure if he should feel attacked or offended. In the end, he … just laughed. Because it was true and hilarious and he … He didn’t know why, it just soothed and amused him. Yeah, Liku was okay. Sometimes.  
“I can’t believe it.” It was so stupid how Vanitas couldn’t stop giggling, he actually wheezed and his shoulders bobbed with his stupid childish laugh. It wasn’t even that funny and still … he was … what was this feeling?

“Holy shit.” Axel suppressed a yawn and elbowed Saix in the side. “Am I still dreaming or is Vanitas actually laughing and smiling over there?”  
Xion and Roxas, who sat in front of them on the floor, enticed to the movie, also looked over to the trio.

Vanitas shook his head, finally getting control back over his muscles and breathing. He once again felt the gazes directed to him and … didn’t mind. He could make an exception for tonight.

“… I guess that means I’ll have to make your lives hell for a little longer.” Vanitas stood up, the Unversed on the table also started to move. “Let’s see how long you can endure me when I stop by more often.”

“You mean, I’ll have to actually share my room now?” Liku jokingly asked, also grinning.

Instead of retorting a provoking remark, threat or insult, Vanitas nodded and the hint of a probably genuine smile was on his features. “Maybe.”  
And with that, he turned around and left the living room. The Unversed jumped in time on his shoulders, quickly hiding inside the warm hood.

He would have to take care of his own problems and questions first. But … perhaps he could spent more time in this world. In this house. In this … home?

Despite the cold and falling snow, it was relaxing to stand outside in the lawn. He would have to go soon, keep searching, following this urge … But maybe he wouldn’t have to do it alone?

Vanitas grabbed the photo that he had kept inside his pocket and looked at it. Ohana meant family. And family meant that one gets left behind or forgotten.

“Aloha oe …” There it was back again, that forsaken earworm. Since he didn’t knew the lyrics, he just hummed the melody. For now, he didn’t want to overthink his plans for the future at all. He just wanted … to be here. Yeah. Just for a little longer.

“Did you really think we’d let you go that easily?” Liku called after him and soon him and Naminé also joined him outside. “Were you just singing?”

“No.” Vanitas sternly denied the obvious and instead turned towards the sky again. He secretly put the photo back in his pocket. Huh, the snow had stopped and the moon was finally visible. Interesting. And he was not changing the subject at all. Of course not. “I might have to go.”

“Still searching?” Naminé asked. He never told them the details, but she had an idea what he was trying to find out, due to her powers and insight.

“Yeah. I need to find something … or someone.” For some reason, he felt the urge to add “But I’ll always come back here, I guess. The Graveyard isn’t that interesting anymore so …”

“You know, we could always go with you.” Liku boxed Vanitas playfully in the shoulder. “Going on adventures, travelling through different worlds, fighting monsters while also using dark powers … why not?”

“You mean we’d do exactly what our originals never achieved?” Vanitas raised an eyebrow. He thought about Sora and his friends never getting the chance to actually go anywhere without one being lost or in some other trouble, while their silly raft-plan was actually just a suicide mission if it had worked.

“In a way … yeah. We’d totally beat them and prove that we’re ‘superior’ as you would say.” Liku huffed and ended up smiling instead. “Or we’d just do what we’re good at, destroying and having some fun, like the beings of darkness that we are.”

Vanitas stared at him, thinking about it. That actually way sparking his interest. Therefore, he nodded. “Fine. Just don’t hold me back by making me save your weak ass all the time.”

“Before you two start another argument.” Naminé quickly added. “Can this wait just for a little longer?”

“Sure.” They both said in unison, while Vanitas rolled his eyes and Liku glared at him from the side.

“Great. I just want to relish this moment for a little longer.” Naminé closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Whatever the next year may have in order for them or whatever challenge they may encounter on their travels … they would face it together. She was certain of that.

While she was busy doing her ‘relishing’ Vanitas took out his phone to check his messages, since he had no interest in staring at the environment. He had done enough of that today.

The post from Ventus popped up again. In a sudden mood of generosity, he decided to comment a simple and ~~clean~~ plain “Merry Christmas” under the selfie and quickly put his phone away again. Maybe he didn’t really feel the whole Christmas spirit thing, the mood and everything but … but perhaps it was worth it. Perhaps Stitch had been right. Perhaps this … and Vanitas himself … wasn’t so bad after all. And eventually, with time, he would finally be able to know what happiness was.

Although, what he felt right now, maybe was already pretty close to the definition of it.

“Merry Christmas, you sappy idiots.” He said, closing his eyes as the moonlight shone down on them. After the Unversed in his hood behind him meowed, he added “And you too, little shit.”

Naminé and Liku laughed. Yeah, this was probably as good as it would get. But it was fine, there would still be more holidays and regular days they could celebrate together. And to know that alone, was enough for now.

“Merry Christmas, Vanitas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this, the short Spin Off is finished! Yeah the last chapter got a little out of hand, since I found it hard to write Vanitas IC while also doing his best to accept love from his Ohana :D  
> Anyway, I hope you liked it. More of the real "Expression" will probably come next year~
> 
> Merry Christmas everyone!


	9. Bonus: New Year's Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week later, Vanitas is confronted with yet another stupid holiday. But maybe, this time, he'll truly like this one ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise moterf*ckers ;D
> 
> And since I can't think of a better song to wrap this up, here ya go:  
> [Paradise fears - Battle Scars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFaBmcCz_HU)
> 
> Happy New Year Everyone!

“Ugh, how many stupid holidays are there even?” Vanitas grunted, digging himself further in in his nest made of blankets, while hiding under his bed like an animal “If people need an excuse because they don’t want to work, why not say it as it is. No need for all this celebration bullshit.”

“People like to celebrate things together, I guess.” Although Repliku had a lot of Riku’s memories, he couldn’t really explain why exactly. “Still no reason to hide under your bed.”

“I’m not hiding!” As if Christmas wasn’t bad enough, the cheerful mood, indeed, would last the whole month. No one had bothered to take down the decoration and that fucking cold snow still mocked him by not melting away. “This stupid bed is too soft. Give me yours.”  
Vanitas was true to his words and the last week, he had stayed in the mansion. Mostly in their shared room, because rarely anyone bothered him here. Having a roommate, however, was a strange concept. There was always someone there during nighttime that yelled at him to put his phone away, clean up after him and all this stuff. Rude.

Repliku on the other hand, just found more weird facts out about Vanitas. Such as his tendency to just drag several soft things on a pile and sleep on the floor in a corner or even under his bed, as if he was trying to protect himself as much as possible. Vanitas rarely slept at all too, just looking at his phone, listening to music or simply existing without moving much – which was just creepy and he did it on purpose because Liku hated it. The fact that he didn’t necessary needed food or go to the bathroom only meant that he literally never had to leave.  
It was welcoming to know he would be here, but it was also annoying. Sharing a room apparently just meant for Vanitas to put more time and effort in his ways of pissing him of. Provoking Liku seemed to become a hobby of him. Which was not so bad, knowing it was at least something he enjoyed doing … if only it weren’t for the fact that it was Liku himself that had to suffer.

“Well, we thought a little relaxation would be good for you. And my bed isn’t much harder than yours.” Liku rolled his eyes. He was convinced Vanitas actually liked it but that was the main reason he would deny himself such a ‘weak thing’. Because he didn’t want to become soft or whatever. “If you like the ground so much, we can get you a futon bed or just a mat, if you want.”

“And what the hell is that?” A black fluffy mass of hair poked out under the bed on the other side of the room. Their territory was cut clean in half, by Vanitas’s chaos of clothing and things scattered on the ground – which was weird, since he barely owned any clothing or was seen without his suit – and potions or items stuffed in the drawers of his dresser. Which Liku also hated since the drawers were so full and chaotically stuffed that they couldn’t even be closed an things kept looking or falling out _(Vanitas probably just did that, too, on purpose to piss Liku the clean-freak off)_.

“It’s a Japanese thing. They sleep on futons on the ground because it’s healthier or … ugh, I dunno.” Liku closed the book he was currently reading and put it back on his nightstand. Even if their room barely had any furniture or items, his side looked like most of his owned stuff somehow joined the chaos on the other, making his half clean but empty and Vanitas’s … well, you can imagine.

“Da fuck is Japanese?” Vanitas pulled himself out and sat on the bare mattress. Of course with his suit and boots. Why not. SURE! Deep breaths, Liku reminded himself.

“You know this world has more than just Twilight Town, right?” Riku actually just guessed himself, since his knowledge was more from San Fransokyo that his dark counterpart attacked in the past.

“Knowing one place full of giddy idiots is enough.” Vanitas retorted leaning against the wall behind him. “And I don’t need another bed.”  
His mind claimed it was because he didn’t need this weak shit, but after receiving so many gifts in the first place and asking for more just didn’t sit right with him … And it was pride, not guilt, of course.

“Good for you then.” Liku shrugged and it was quiet between them for a while.

“What kind of stupid holiday is this even?” Vanitas couldn’t tell them apart. While everyone else was in a good mood and went outside to go sledding or ice skating, he used his phone to educate himself on the topic of hibernation. Turned out, this was stupid, because there was no way he would sleep that long. He wasn’t a fucking sloth like Sora who could nap for a year.

“New Year’s Eve? It’s just the last day of the year. There’s a huge firework at midnight. We want to go to Radiant Garden, Merlin and the Scientists are hosting a huge event.” Liku tried to explain. It was also his first time, so he just re-told what Naminé said to him.

“That’s it? What’s so special about that?” Vanitas crossed his arms. If there was one thing that could stop him from being a little shit, it was his curiosity. As long as he wanted to know something and wasn’t satisfied until he did, he would drop any provoking or whatsoever so he could focus on getting the answers he wanted. It was … somehow cute, how he kept asking questions and yet tried to sound and act as uninterested as possible.

“I don’t know, it’s like celebrating the world’s birthday. Everyone’s just glad they’re still alive or something and have these super cool resolutions for the coming year that will be ignored two weeks later.” Liku mused “But the fireworks sure is pretty I think. And there will be a market and many people and music. It’s just like a big party everywhere.”

“Ugh.” Vanitas wrinkled his nose in disgust “The only thing I like about parties is ruining them.” Because as soon as he entered, the party was practically ruined for everyone else. What was even the deal with hanging out with a bunch of strangers? Concerts were one thing, but voluntarily for no good reason spending time in a cramped spot just to ‘have fun’? How bizarre.

“Come on, it’s just Radiant Garden. I think it’s not that cold over there and we’ll go at night. I bet Naminé would be happy if you came along.” Liku actually winked at him, which irritated Vanitas to a degree that his face was very warm all of a sudden.

“Why the hell would I care about that?!”

“Because that’s what friends do for each other. And I know that you like to see her smile more than when she’s upset.” It was now one of the rare times Liku had something to torment Vanitas with. The gruesome truth that Vanitas had a soft spot.

Only two days ago, Naminé had jokingly wondered out loud if Vanitas’s hair was as soft as his Unversed’s fur. And when she later went ice skating for the first time and accidently collided with Roxas, she had a sprained ankle as a result. Vanitas immediately knew something happened as soon as he felt the presence of negative emotions as hurt.  
Long story short, while she had to sit in the Living room alone in front of the fireplace, the Unversed cat didn’t leave her lap once and Vanitas showed up at some point. Seeing how uncomfortable she looked after ‘having to ruin everyone’s fun’ since they had to take her to a doctor, he just … wordlessly took her hand, that was currently petting the Unversed, and placed it on top of his head. At first, she didn’t know why he did that, but then her eyes became wide and she caressed through his hair in amazement while Vanitas sulked and let it happen. The ghost feeling of someone touching his head was now so real and it was such a weird and indescribable sensation …

Vanitas should’ve known there was at least one witness. He just tried out this being nice and friendly once _(and no, he did not feel guilty! It was just annoying how sensitive Naminé was, being upset over silly things so easily and all that)_ and now he would have to live with this shame forever.  
Who knew he was capable of such an emotion? One that turned his face so warm and red. He was disgusted by himself.

“I swear if you ever tell someone about this …” Vanitas growled, not even finishing his threat.

“Oh I don’t need to.” He grinned and then pointed at his face. “With that much color on you, it’s obvious enough.”

“… Words cannot describe how much I want to smack that grin out of your face.” But other than saying it, Vanitas did nothing. In fact, he just grumbled incoherent swears to himself as he got up and left the room. Just wait until the next training match. Then he’ll get his revenge. He could wait.

Of course Liku’s comment had nothing to do with Vanitas’s decision to come along. It was still hours before this firework thing and they already roamed through the streets of Radiant Garden. Vanitas made use of his new coat, the cat-ears were removed now. It wasn’t as cold as Twilight Town, but there was still a little snow here and there.

“It won’t be as spectacular as the firework at King Mickey’s castle, but we plan to make a great show for the residents here.” Ansem explained. Naminé insisted to visit Merlin and the Committee. It turned out those two old men liked to drink tea and talk with each other, so he was also here. Both shared a lot of interest in the others main subject, science and magic.  
However, Vanitas was somehow glad no one except the old geezers knew the full story of his origin. He guessed Leon and the others just stopped questioning Sora and his weird clones at some point. To them he was just another accidental version, created by Xehanort. Which was mostly true, so he left it at that and just chilled in the background, observing the chatter.

Luckily, he wasn’t the only odd one out. Aside from him there were also Roxas, Liku and Xion who had no one to talk to.

“I wonder how this firework turns out.” Xion asked out loud. Just standing around in silence only made her uncomfortable.

“I kind of know what it looks like, but I’ve never seen one in person.” Roxas added closing his eyes and digging in the hazed memories from Sora. Although Xion was full of memories, these early childhood pictures weren’t part of them.

“Same.” Liku had abandoned his suit and wore his regular clothes. Somehow, Vanitas felt betrayed. So much for skirt-roommates. Of course that drew more attention than wanted to him, but Vanitas had nothing else to wear and he didn’t need anything else.

“Do we have to stay here the whole time?” Vanitas rolled his eyes. He could easily teleport away or use a dark corridor, but … ugh, he was trying to put effort in this whole Ohana-thing, okay?! It wasn’t his fault everyone made it so difficult for him by expecting him to act like a social butterfly and inventing stupid holidays for no good reason.

“We could go shopping or get some street food.” Xion at least offered something to occupy them, but these were just things that made Vanitas groan. He didn’t need food and if he needed something, he stole it. But, since he was trying to be nice, he just took what he needed from Liku and sometimes Axel. You’re welcome. It was their fault that they were the only ones in the mansion with decent taste. Well, Roxas too, but he still kept his distance from him for obvious reasons.

“Oh, I have an idea!” The mentioned Ventus-clone perked up, instead of just fucking saying what he meant without making such a fuss. Yes, Vanitas still had his problems to maintain his temper with Ventus, err, Roxas. So much about him not being like a copy at all. He was a hypocrite. But at least he knew he was a twisted asshole and therefore didn’t need to feel bad about it. Because that was how manners worked, right? “We could explore the castle. I bet we have a great view up there, almost like the clock tower at home!”

“That’s stupid.” Vanitas huffed, not even intending to stop them. If they wanted to do that, they didn’t need to drag him along. For some reason, however, they wanted to do something together. Including him. Weirdos.

“You didn’t come sledding or ice skating with us and you locked yourself in Liku’s and your room all week. What would you like to do then?” Roxas crossed his arms, but Vanitas couldn’t take him serious with that silly pout. Was he scolding him or something? Whatever, it wasn’t working.

“I wouldn’t be here if I knew that, idiot.” Vanitas snarled, but then closed his eyes, thinking for a moment. “Well, I sure would like to set something on fire and let it explode.”  
Seeing their gazes that seemed to whisper ‘No. Please don’t do that’ with a hint of worry for the innocent people that lived in this city, he grinned. “Fine, let’s explore the castle then.”

“Remind me to skip the room with the stored rockets … and the labs.” Liku said to no one in particular but avoided looking at the pyromaniac in the group.

But before they left Merlin’s house, Naminé joined them. Xion asked her if she wanted to come along and since today was her day off from magic training, she quickly informed Axel _(who was cool with it, as long as they kept their phones on – typical mansion-mom)_ and was happy to accompany them _._

Vanitas had no idea why they thought this would be fun. The only interesting place was the basement, but only because it was locked. And if something was prohibited, Vanitas automatically wanted to commit crime and investigate. But with four witnesses who rather wanted to play nice instead of partners in crime, he was forced to come along. The result was that they wasted several hours walking through hallways because they got lost … and side from the former Organization members, nobody lived in here. No staff, no other people, just many floors and rooms with nothing. Well, and a library. A really big one.

“So many books!” Naminé was astounded by all the interesting paperwork. To Vanitas, all of this was just a bunch of fuel for a fire. Today he really wanted to do arson.

“Boring.” Vanitas looked at a few on a large table. The pictures weren’t bad … he just wasn’t much of a reading person. It took him too much time and he had no patience for it. Xehanort always complained how long it took him for a single page. Well, he was better at practical lessons. He learned much faster if he was simply shown what he was supposed to do than read a stupid book about War Strategy or Keyblade History. Too many complicated and useless words. Which didn’t mean he was analphabetic! He could write … if he wanted. It was just never needed until now. Like, he never held a fucking pencil in his short life before and there was no need now. “Want to practice your fire magic, Witch?”

“… You know, I think we should head to the roof now.” Naminé quickly lost interest and gently shoved Vanitas away from the table with very important looking notes and books. The others agreed. Cowards.

Back in the hallways that were built after a maze or so it seemed, it was impossible to avoid annoying conversations, Vanitas soon figured.

“Sooo, if you can create a cat Unversed and several others with unique abilities, could you also create one that can make a firework?” Roxas asked, his arms crossed behind his head. They once again got lost, but at least there were stairs leading upwards. In emergency cases, he could still teleport at least.

“That’s not how it works.” Vanitas growled. His cat Unversed was a mistake. He never meant to create it and he had no idea when it happened. Good thing that little shit decided to stay at the mansion. “They are made from emotions and feelings that give them shape and expressions. Many of the unique ones aren’t even my own.”

“So other people can create Unversed?” Roxas had asked a lot of these questions in the past, but still found new ones to bother Vanitas with.

“No. I am darkness.” He pointed at his chest, as if he wanted to educate a cavemen …. cavechild – which was how it felt. “And the Unversed are a part of me. Negative energy, especially emotions, feed me and make me stronger. So if someone with a lot of negative emotions or negative intentions is near, the Unversed are drawn to them. In some cases they evolve through them. I rarely decide what shape they should have. It just happens and they do what I want.”

“So technically you **could** create a certain kind if you wanted?”

“It’s not worth the effort if they are just meant to fight and come back or die eventually.”

“But if it’s not meant to fight? Like, Mini-tas doesn’t fight, he acts different … and he also doesn’t listen to you.”

“Okay, that’s not his name and no, I’m not creating any Unversed just like that for your amusement. Deal with it.”

Roxas pouted, not satisfied with the conclusion of their argument. He came to accept it, however, but still felt the need to add at least something. “How about Nyanitas?”

“Oh, for the hate of – NO!” Giving something a name meant you got attached. Vanitas just didn’t see the reason in naming an Unversed. They were just a part of him. It was like giving your elbow or finger a name. Or each single Flood a new nickname. That just didn’t work. It was never intended to exist, so why should he bother? Sure, even the special and unique ones had a name, but they weren’t … like that cat. It would return to his body, one way or another. And then they would be sad or some shit. Which was weird, since it was a part of Vanitas. But after they saved his life months ago, he shouldn’t be surprised by something like this, even if it was stupid and irritating.

Becoming impatient, Vanitas decided to use a shortcut.

“Oh, they are setting up the rockets! And there’s Merlin!” Xion pointed at the obvious scenery down in the castle’s garden. The view on the roof was not bad.  
Vanitas eventually had enough of pointlessly walking around and teleported them there. It was almost twelve and the night, although cold, was very calming. Mostly because it was just them up here and not a bunch of strangers.

“I texted Axel, he and Saix will help the others and join us later.” Roxas mentioned and put his phone away.

“Great, the firecracker is allowed to play with explosives and I’m stuck with you idiots.” Vanitas sat down on the edge of the roof next to them. He was tired of standing and leaning against walls as if he wasn’t part of it right now. Well, he had agreed to this bullshit.

“I think Saix won’t let him set anything on fire either, aside from the rockets I mean.” Naminé giggled. Vanitas was sure he could do the same just fine. And, even if he had told Roxas the opposite, he COULD create an Unversed with a similar ability if he WANTED. Altering bombs and explosions from his Unversed’s attacks wasn’t that big of a deal. A work of … art, so to say. But he wasn’t an artist. Perhaps Naminé could learn a spell and teach him some day. That would be less complicated. He probably didn’t even understand himself enough anyway.

Vanitas tried to think of what firework looked like. A quick search with his phone showed him pictures with colorful sparkles. His curiosity was there, but he didn’t really know what the use of it was. Why would people do this? What was the reason? What was so good about celebrating the concept of time and the everlasting knowledge of decay and mortality? Humans got a year older and the circle began a new turn. Done. Even without a firework or holiday, the sun would still rise tomorrow as always _(depending on the world)_. So what was the big idea?

He was so caught up in his thoughts, the sudden ‘ _whoosh’_ and the bright explosion startled him. And after that single one, a lot more followed.

“It’s starting!” Xion cheered and they all looked at the sky with equally sparkling eyes.

Various shapes were formed by the sparkles, an ocean of colors and glitter in the dark night, loud and piercing through the ears, the air swelling with thick fog and a smell of ashes and sulfur … yet it was … mesmerizing.

Vanitas stared, not blinking once, with wide eyes full of wonder. All this light in the darkness, the many color variations … everything. It was stunning!

He could barely hear the others talk beside him, but he heard Naminé next to him. “I hope we get to see many more of these. It’s fantastic!”

Right, it was their first time. Their first year. And hoping to witness this once more, even many more times … something to look forward. Something to know it wasn’t over but just a new start …  
To them, it wasn’t just a stupid holiday with no reason. Vanitas knew these fools had any right to cherish these moments, as irritating as they were. Because they deserved it. Because knowing they were here, finally, after all these hard times, made it so special to them.

He closed his eyes, the lights blending even through his eyelids.  
Perhaps that also counted for him? Maybe, just maybe, he also found it special to be here in this moment with everyone else. There was no need for a reason. Even if it could be just a day like any other.

“Happy new year, everyone!” Roxas yelled over the loud noise and for once, Vanitas didn’t found it annoying. Neither the yelling of this particular voice nor the loud explosions. He just looked at the pretty show, and actually enjoyed it.

… All right, it was worth coming here, he admitted. And he probably also smiled a little bit. It would even be more perfect if they could somehow make a shape of the Unversed symbol. Now that would be cool! Much better than stupid hearts and letters. Oh well, maybe next time.

With all the brightness and noise, he didn’t notice Liku taking a picture of the happy and fascinated expression Vanitas made. Or he did, and just didn’t care about it. About anything. For once. Even if it would only last for a few minutes. Even if it didn’t matter and nothing would change because of it.

In this certain moment, they were just … a family. And Vanitas was fine with that thought, although he wouldn’t tell anyone out loud. He didn’t know if he was **truly** happy with all of this, but it wasn’t as cold as before. He felt warm. And kind of liked the company and loud noise. It was just for tonight. That’s what he told himself on Christmas. And he probably would tell himself this on more occasions.

Yeah, more. Thinking about the future without having special goals or plans usually upset him, but …

“It’ll be fine, I guess.” He whispered, which of course was drowned out by the noise. Turning sideways, he still saw and felt the happiness next to him from everyone. Liku had been right, he preferred them that way. One grumpy and mischievous teen was enough. And no one could do that part better than him, after all.


End file.
